


Alexander No Don’t You Dare Throw That Screwdriver- GODDAMMIT ALEX - A Second Biography by John Laurens

by Riddleisourking, ThiefOfADHD



Series: The Misadventures of Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens: The Many Reasons Why Alexander Hamilton Is Actually A Toddler [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: And definitely fuck john laurens ;), Fluff, Fuck Adams, Fuck Jefferson, M/M, No screwdriver was harmed in the making of this fic, a lil smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 06:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11480559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddleisourking/pseuds/Riddleisourking, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfADHD/pseuds/ThiefOfADHD
Summary: First, your hot chocolate machine cockblocks you, then you break your window, why are you still considered an adult, Alexander Hamilton?A sequel to: Why The Fuck Does Alexander Need To Eat All The Goddamn Pot Roast - A Biography By John Laurens





	Alexander No Don’t You Dare Throw That Screwdriver- GODDAMMIT ALEX - A Second Biography by John Laurens

**Author's Note:**

> A horgi is a huskey corgi mix

Alex was sitting on his couch, typing violently on his laptop as he kept his legs wrapped around his boyfriend, John, who was gripping a blue Game Boy Advance in his soft hands. He grumbled to himself, squinting at the screen as he angrily scolded Thomas Jefferson via email. It was a very long email.

  
“John, how intelligent does ‘your lack of intelligence reminds me of an irregularly small-sized penis’ sound?” He asked, reaching a hand to caress his boyfriend’s soft honey curls, which almost always calmed him down. This time was no different, he could already feel the knots in his stomach slowly unfurling.

John finally looked up from his game and his eyes sparked as a surprised laugh tumbled out, “Alex, there are times where I question my better judgement in encouraging these fights with Jefferson but it's times like these that I realize that I made the right decision.” He shifted the laptop away from him and Alex looked forlornly at the disappearing laptop. He wasn't even finished. It was in the middle of paragraph 452, section 21. “However, I'm going to have to ask you to chill out because you've resorted to dick insults with a government official. We can't have that, Alex. You can't stoop to John Adams’ level.”

“But, John, babe, baby, honey buns, _booty boy_ , here’s the thing: what I do between cabinet meetings with Thomas Jefferson through these arguments via emails is actually more of a job than John Adams has.” Alex pouted, pulling John up towards his chest dejectedly, “Besides, are you sure you’re not trying to pull me out of my emails for something more akin to your sweet Southern lips?” He smirked, sliding his hands down his boyfriend’s back, and he touched the butt. The plushest butt that anyone has ever seen. Why did he, Alexander Hamilton, get cursed with the flattest of asses, when this man, this blond God, was blessed with only the softest and most robust booty on the planet?

A soft gasp was his reward and his smirk only widened into a full-on grin.

“Alex, who will save Princess Peach if I give into these most sinful of thoughts?” He teased as his hand found Alex's groin and he gave it a long squeeze. Angels were singing in the distance, Alex was sure of this. Then again, this could also be his own moans.

“Oh sweet didgeridoo.” He whispered. “I think your Princess is in another castle.” He smirked, pulling John closer as he ghosted his lips over the blond’s soft ones. He felt his heart skip when he heard the blond’s whimper.

“I can be in your castle.” He bit his lip, watching Alex with an eager look. The movements were quick as soon, the only slightly taller male was on his back on the couch. His hands slowly slid over John’s covered legs, pulling his pants off-

An angry groan left Alex when he heard the knocking on the door. “You’re shitting me, right?” He grumbled, pulling away from his blond boyfriend to answer the door.

A dark skinned man in navy blue khakis and a light blue shirt was standing there with a box in his hands, “John Laurens?” He asked as he gave him a clipboard. The name tag on his shirt read, ‘A. Burr’.

A soft padding followed John's unhappy entrance and he sent a glare to the postal man, “Oh great, this guy.” He grabbed the clipboard and angrily scribbled his signature on the dotted line. “Even our 13 inch tall horgi hates you, Burr. Why are you our mail man?”

The postal man, Burr, rolled his eyes and sighed, “Look, give me back my clipboard and I can leave, Laurens.” He huffed.

Alex took the box from him, looking at John gently. “C’mon, babe.” He whispered, kissing his cheek gently. “We got shit to do.” He patted the box gently.

A disgusted look came over Burr’s face and after John gave him his clipboard, he was gone.

John turned to Alex, “He thought it was a sex toy but in reality, it's our hot chocolate machine that we adopted together.”

“That’s the truest thing I’ve ever heard.” Alex smirked. “C’mon, we gotta go set it up.” He took John’s hand, tugging him into the kitchen happily.

 

* * *

 

Alex groaned loudly as he fiddled with the smallest of screws with the shittiest of screwdrivers. For a man who seemed calm most of the time, he was actually getting quite frustrated. “How the fuck- are you shitting me? What are we doing? Building a second bookshelf?” He dropped another pesky screw onto the floor, cursing loudly. His anger was boiling his blood at this point. “I swear- this- John!” He turned to his boyfriend unhappily.

John had his part of the machine perfectly assembled by this time and he looked up at him, raising a dark brow, “Alex? What's wrong, hon?” Worry clouded the Southern’s voice clearly. “Do you need help, Ham?”

“No, I’ve got it.” He grumbled, looking over the Southern’s adorable freckled squishy face for a moment before turning around, trying to finish it. When he lost another screw, Alex lost it. “Goddammit!” He screamed, throwing the screwdriver away from him. “Dammit dammit dammit!”

A sharp noise followed the screwdriver as it completed its maiden voyage through the air, which turned out to be quite similar to the RMS Titanic’s maiden voyage except that the iceberg was the kitchen window in this comparison. Alex froze at the noise, feeling the color drain from him completely as he squeezed his hands tightly into fists. He released them shortly after, looking at his boyfriend with the most innocent smile ever.

“Hi, babe.” He whispered, trying to make him feel better.

John's pretty pink lips were parted in shock and that's when their horgi, Professor Von Snuffles came in, toting the screwdriver in his mouth. Alex looked at John before looking down at their horgi, kneeling down before taking the screwdriver gently, picking the 20 pound horgi up happily.

“The Professor brought the screwdriver back. Isn’t he such a good boy?” Alex asked, kissing the horgi’s head as he looked at John, trying his best to get himself out of trouble.

“Can The Professor fix our broken window, Alex?” John asked calmly. Too calmly.

Alex’s eyes widened comically as he set the screwdriver down on the counter, taking two steps away from John before bolting to the bedroom, horgi in arms.

 

* * *

 

By the time that Alex finally came back out to the kitchen, John was nailing boards over the broken window and he had a pen behind his ear. He held the horgi close still, feeling the dog’s quick heartbeat match his own.

“John?” He asked, watching the Southern before his eyes went straight to his ass. That soft and bulbous ass.

John turned away from his work and the boards fell into the sink and he pouted, “The nails won't stay in. Alex, I need help.”

Alex set the horgi down, going into the kitchen to hug John from behind, taking the nails and hammer gently. “They’re not able to go through deep enough. Here, why don’t you get my power drill and the long screws, they might do better.” He offered, kissing his neck gently. “Or we can cut a garbage bag and tape it over until we can call someone to come fix the window.”

“Huh, well, which offers more protection from the cold?” He asked innocently as he ground his ass into him. A moan left him, holding him close.

“I’d say the garbage bag if we use duct tape and make it so the bag is tight against it. However, to protect us from the cold, I’d say we’d end up having to keep each other warm.” He whispered into his ear, his hand slowly slipping into John’s pants. “Should we tape the garbage bag over it now, or in thirty minutes?” He nipped his earlobe gently as John released a shaky moan.

“Thirty minutes, fuck, Alex.” John whispered.

“Then thirty minutes it is.” Alex pulled away, taking John’s hands before pulling him to their bedroom quickly.

And those thirty minutes turned into an hour that neither expected to happen.

 

* * *

 

That night, Alex was finally finishing his email to Jefferson with a cup of hot cocoa and John was sleeping with his head on his shoulder with his Game Boy lying abandoned on his lap. A happy hum left him as he stroked his boyfriend’s blond curls, sending the email happily before shutting his laptop off, setting it aside safely as he finished his hot cocoa. Soon, he shifted to a more comfortable position, covering them both with a blanket as he kissed the blond’s forehead sweetly.

“Goodnight, my princess. You’re safe in my castle.” He whispered, his heavy eyelids slowly sliding shut as he went to sleep.

  
_It was a perfect ending to a not so perfect day._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not apologizing


End file.
